Grandmas Rock

These are some Top Reasons - 

1. Gives you money – Now I don't know from where they get it from. But Grandmas seem to have an endless supply of Cash. 
   When you are going outstation. You go and touch her feet and Kaching! there is cash. And new, stiff, clean notes. Big ones. Many of them. And will never forget to tell you: “Don't eat outside.”
   
2. Understands Cricket – Arguably, Grandma is the only lady in the house who understands crickets – thought not fully. For her Sachin Tendulkar is the only cricketer. And Sachin is the Captain, and he is the only one playing. Grandma are very choosy about players like that. They only watch till Sachin is playing. And ones he gets out, they go back to whatever is it that are doing – that is mostly praying.
   They usually can't see what the score is. So when you tell her that Sachin scored only 49. She says, "India going to lose." And Baam! India Loses. Her predictions are better than a dozen Sidhus, combined.
   
   
3. Is the best Cook – Grandma can walk in with her stick in any restaurant, or in any cookery competition, or any master chef and kick some serious chef ass. No kidding. She doesn't need any recepie books. I have seen Grandas work. The discipline and cleanliness with which they handle kicthen, is like watching them conduct an orchestra. Its art. I know how it is like to be in kitchen, in that hot and humid environment.
   
   
4. Has Imperial Manners – Grandpas go farting around the town, but not Grandmas. I guess decades of being a lady instils a certain degree of royalty in a human being.
   
   
5. Has a lot of Gold – The bling Grandmas have is bar none. I mean, if they decide to wear even one tenth of their jewellery; so high will be the infi complex for rappers like Young Jezus and Lil Kim, that those nuts will dare not step out of their cribs, literally.
   
   
6. Sleeps like any angel – If you are sneaking out or sneaking in, Grandmas are so fast asleep that they won't wake up in the middle of the night; unlike Grandpas, who are mostly in the bathroom, busy farting.
   But mind you, Grandmas might sense your partying, with their life-long experience, but out of sheer love for you will never mention it. That's divine.
   
   
7. Shields when People Scold – She is one person in the house who can protect you from the everybody's wrath –  Dad, Grandad, Mom, Mali, Kamwali; it doesn't matter. Her word is the last word. Her bias for you is your last bastion. Her love is love.
   
   
8. Spiritual / Religious – Now we don't really understand religions or rituals. We just sometimes follow them. And everytime we do, it bores the hell out. But looking at Grandmas' devotion, the way she unconditionally believes in things that are beyond the lines of our reason makes us wonder, that if not anything, there is someone of something up there (or down there) and that Karama is a bitch and so you better get you shit together.
   
   
9. Funny as hell – now this is very objective and case specific point. but a very prominent one. The other day my grandma was going out of station. When she was about to leave, I touched her feet. And Kaching! And then, when she reached my relatives. They had skype with them, So my Grandma was got online. She saw me on the monitor and did Namaste. She thought I was some famous personality and that I was on National Television.
   
   
10. They take you back to a nice place – No one takes you back to your childhood the way these funny angels do. Be it their love laced food; or their voice; or when they give you money; or when they give you jewellery to wear on occasions and put a tikka on your big fore head. The best is when they ask about your well being over the phone and give their blessing when you touch their feet everytime you say hello.